Wow. I have been away from home for almost 6 months. It is crazy. I feel like I have been away for longer, yet it has gone so fucken fast. The last 6 months have been amazing, probably the best of my life. I am very happy.
My absolute favourite thing about London? The Theatre. From Charlie and The Chocolate Factory to The Maids, they all have an amazing charm about them. Seeing a live performance is such a different experience than a movie or TV show. The performances seem more real, the talent is extraordinary and they become more meaningful.
I have also found a job I really enjoy. It is only a contract job, but the experience I am gaining is truly wonderful. It lets me appreciate business and hard work on a whole new level. Especially compared to my last job (which was fun) the amount of growth and knowledge I have gained is brilliant. I am very grateful for the opportunity.
The amount of new experiences this year has also been crazy. I am not going to list them all here, but I have go to do things that I have always wanted to. I feel like I am living my life in a whole new way. I am taking chances and really living. I feel like I have also finally discovered that happiness is a choice. What ever you focus on becomes your reality.
Which brings me to me as a person. I feel completely changed. I am happier, relaxed and more resourceful. That being said.. not all change is good change.
The bad.. and the fat…
Two years ago, I lost a lot of weight. I was in the best shape and health of my life. This gave me more energy, motivation and drive. Currently, as life as been crazy, my health and body has reverted back to its old state. I am around 65.5kgs right now.. FUCK.
I have also lost direction. I am a very ambitions person and I want to achieve everything I have ever even thought of doing. But I got lazy and complacent. Yes, I am happy and having heaps of fun, but I can still feel happy and have fun.. in a more balanced way.
So what do you do when you are lost? You pull out a map and get yourself on track.
Where I want to be and what I want to achieve by 31 December 2016:
- I want to have a job that I am succeeding, growing and learning from (also if it pays well that would be a bonus)
- Ideally, I would like to get down to 55kgs however, the number on the scale is not important. What is important is how I feel. I want to feel healthy and be happy with my body. I can feel happy with some curves.. just not all this fat that is currently crushing my organs. I will also include, running a 10k and being a yoga goddess in here.
- Write consistently. I have always liked writing, I get joy from writing. I just get that little voice in my head (that we all do), that tells me I am not good enough to write. Well fuck it. I do not write to write well, I write to fulfil this passion that is in side.
- Get A’s in my studies. Yes – that is right. I am going to back study for my masters.
- Continuing to live my life and experience new things
- Stay happy and explore these new characteristics I have found inside myself. I want to overcome that stupid voice of self doubt and keep improving myself to be the person who I want to be.
6 months ago, I would have been overwhelmed at trying to balance all the above. I would of written the above believing I was purely writing words because I couldn’t achieve it. But now I know I can. I know I am ambitious, driven and resourceful. I can make any dream happen because I have already made my dreams happen. I am living in fucken London. I have also achieved so many things I have wanted to. I have the ability to do anything, we all do. The trick is to stay focused. It isn’t going to be easy. I am going to have many failures along with the accomplishments. I just need to breathe, smile and know that I am am a brilliant, amazing young lady who can do whatever the fuck she wants to do.